Every passing day feels like a century of torment.

I do not know how much longer I can bear this deplorable form, its sickening.

My certainty about the promises of Joward is beggining to waiver.

I am beggining to fear the worst, that is "test" is permanent.

I pray that this is meerly the unwanted intrusions of my currently irrational mind.

I do not wish to imagine what an eternity of this torture would be.

I can only hope that this is meerly a particularly thorough test of my being.